I Refused Him

I did.
I have refused.Turned him down.

I don't feel bad, insecure or guilty.

I feel relief.
I am glad I found the strength and can ignore the need....

But..I have drowned in self pleasure every evening and every morning alone...for weeks on end now.

I reach a beautiful orgasm, but it feels the same...I need to feel someone else, within, next to, beneath...a different and wonderful climax without the subversive guilt.

Waxed and exfoliated, my smooth body has no admirer, except the deep eyes of the lonely brunette that shimmer in the mirror.